Your chill days should be all the time...because you need them.
I lost my shit a few days - but I'm good now (LOL). So - how are you?
In the past week, I felt way too many feelings and my bounce back wasn’t bouncing like I hoped it would. Work emails triggered my anxiety, I was growing tired of certain social media posts and trying to carry on casual conversations became exhausting. I was next level annoyed for several days and laying in bed was the best thing I could do to relax.
“Maybe I can paint to help clear my mind.” In my basement, I keep my small stack of Walmart paint samples. Still no itch to do larger art so I’m comfortable with these tiny pieces of paper for now. One thing I do before I start painting is don my Beats headphones and listen to music. This time I decided not to because I wanted to see what I could create without it. I allowed the thoughts to pass through my mind as I listened to the sounds of the water from the fish tank and the furnace cutting off and on. I grabbed my tiny brushes that I rarely use and focused my attention on finishing painting my fanny pack. “I don’t know why I don’t do this regularly but I need to.”
While I learn to take frequent breaks to keep myself snapping viciously on the innocent, I have officially decided to join the world of writers and will start writing fiction stories. I have a plan to write short stories that go with my paintings but plans always have a way of changing when you least expect them. Also, I’ll be starting again with making new hand painted bandanas - so be looking out for those.
Anyway, read my new blog below. Enjoy!
Winter is here and the blues are coming.
It’s snowing in Michigan and the clouds and lack of natural bright sunlight makes for long dreary days. I don’t typically get the winter blues but I’ve had a series of days that left me feeling drained and defeated. Even my effort of trying to paint couldn’t lift my spirit no matter how hard I tried.
Months before, I was thinking about how I was to going to survive the winter. The thought of the snow, shoveling my driveway and the commute to work had mentally exhausted me. During the summer, going to the park with my art supplies and coffee was the perfect atmosphere to create. I was reminded every time that I spend too much time indoors as I sucked in deep breaths of fresh air and stared into the clear blue skies. Now that winter is here, I wish I would’ve taken advantage of that more. Where else can I go that’s not my dark basement studio? I stopped stuffing my backpack with markers and paper and carrying them to work. Sitting in my work cubicle, the fluorescent lights beaming down and cold air blowing on top of my head slowly became a lesser ideal place to get in a quick drawing session during lunch time. A small change of scenery was what I needed and luckily, I found desirable spots sitting outside in Downtown Detroit to briefly escape and create.
The past few weeks have been a struggle of sickness, fatigue and lack of inspiration to paint and draw, however, there’s the growing desire to write. I’ve only scratched the surface with my paintings but I’m embracing this magnified interest into the world of writing. I tossed around these thoughts of a painting and writing lifestyle and I was making the idea more complicated than it should be. “Should I or shouldn’t I?” After discussing this with my writer friend and weighing the pros and cons, I considered taking the leap. The worst thing that could happen is that it doesn’t work out for me.
Am I putting my painting on the back burner? Of course not because painting and drawing has brought me the peace I longed for. Late nights and early mornings have been the best sometimes, but I unconsciously replaced the things I used to do, like going to the gym, for painting and building my audience on social media. Let’s just say that I’m getting back on track.
This list isn’t perfect but this is my winter plan for keeping the blues at bay:
1) Give myself more paint breaks. Even though I’ve also painted for pleasure, I still didn’t give myself complete down time. So I’m learning to put down all the supplies.
2) Use that gym membership I’m paying for. What’s the point of having a membership if I’m not going to use it?
3) Unplug from social media more.
4) Read more books, to include audio books.
5) Get out the house more. I can be quite the vampire when I’m in the house too long. Surprisingly, I’ve been stepping outside in the freezing teen temps!
6) Spend time building my writing skills. Fiction writing has begun and I’ll be spending some quality time devoted to building my skills.
Let me know your thoughts. Do you get the winter blues? How do you survive the winter?
I love this list! Reading more and developing my craft is my focus during this time as well. Allowing myself to play with my creative expression and trust the process as it leads me from one medium to another is a big part of my current journey too. Sometimes I paint to take a break from writing and my mind appreciates the alternative outlet a lot. Otherwise I can begin to make it all feel like work.
I love the idea of reading more books - I'm hoping getting lost in someone else's words wil help me